It’s been 4 years of Full-Time

It’s been four years since I have been a full-time social media manager. I wanted to share what it’s been like, full transparency, to run your own digital freelancing business full-time for four years.

On my lunch break, I secretly took these first photos as The Reel Sarah

It’s an incredible milestone and I’m really proud of myself. At the same time, some of the constant thoughts that have been playing on repeat over the years have been :

“why is it taking so long?” (success and riches) 

“shouldn’t I be farther now? (like ten thousand followers and zero debt?) 

“how come I’m not a millionaire yet? (like all the people I saw on IG) And, 

“this so much harder than I thought it would be.” (the cost of being an optimist.)

I’ve had the entrepreneurial flare ever since I graduated college and learned that people can make money and travel the world by blogging. That was in 2012 when I started my travel blog, Curious Sarah. I also started Magill Event Design as a wine country wedding planner and officiant. And here I am, four years into owning and operating as The Reel Sarah.

My first foray into entrepreneurship, a budget travel blog called Curious Sarah. 2012

I remember sitting at my last desk job at the real estate office in 2021 and I just had such a relentless urge to quit. And not even because they didn’t treat me well … they did. I was just tired of asking for a raise and being told no. I didn’t like being someone’s front desk girl when I wanted to lead departments. I was tired of applying for jobs I was overqualified for and not even getting an interview. And to be honest, I was tired of not being able to go on spontaneous trips because I had to work. It just didn’t feel like I was living life to the fullest and my soul was getting itchier every hour I sat behind that desk.

The decision to quit my “stable” office job was definitely fueled by a lot of Instagram delusion. I had been down so many rabbit holes about entrepreneurship and all its forms, drop shipping, creating courses, freelancing, even obscure things like voice acting, day trading and modeling from home.

It all seemed pretty straightforward and dare I say it, easy. But of course, when you see these people succeeding, you just see a one time reel and think you can do it. You don’t see the years of hard work it took to get there. And of course, I idealized the few people who just happened to hit the perfect combination of strategy, alignment, and luck and were making millions their first year. I was unaware I had set the measure of success so high. 

I’m smart, dedicated and definitely lucky. I figured that I would be lucky straight out of the gate, too.

In these four years, I’ve accomplished a lot of things, but I’ve also experienced far more setbacks than I ever expected. 

The positives: 

A year in and I was featured in the local newspaper

I can pick up my daughter from school, 

I don’t have to ask permission to travel, 

I can decide how much I work,

I was asked to teach at community college just one year after going full-time, 

I co-authored a #1 International Best Selling book, 

I’ve been featured in all types of media from local newspapers, regional television news  segments, a TV show with my publisher and two podcast interviews,

Intimate entrepreneurs retreat in Costa Rica

I’ve taught hundreds of professionals how to do something that has caused a great deal of anxiety, 

I’ve helped multiple agencies pass municipal levies with a communications strategy anchored in social media,

I’ve gone to conferences and retreats,

I’ve worked for two viral Instagram coaches, 

I’ve coached dozens of local leaders through some deep insecurities and helped them build their brand and anchor their careers,

And this is a shortened list. 

Me and my coauthors traveled to NYC to see our photos and our book displayed in Time Square. 2025.

The negatives:

I’m in debt. I applied for so many small business loans and grants. Again, no one picked me so I picked myself. I got myself a business credit card with a $14,000 credit limit and no interest for a year  and I went all in. I learned from my previous two businesses that bootstrapping everything has serious consequences, like not having the technology to adequately support your clients, investing in education, or not being able to represent myself professionally. I didn’t make that mistake a third time, instead, I made a new mistake. I could’ve bootstrapped a little more this round, I suppose.

I’m making really good strides to paying off my debt, but I definitely didn’t think I would be in debt four years after starting this business. In a way, the debt is just a tool I used to transform my life. I’ve been working to remove the negative charge to “debt,” but it still weighs heavy on me daily.

There have been plenty of days where I feel like it’s just me against the world. The single mom, the only one in this household paying the mortgage, the only one making dinner, doing laundry and yard work, and the only one handling my spicy daughter who has challenged me from day one. I survived one of the worst PR nightmares I could’ve dreamed of and this past year, the notion of me being a failure has gone through my mind more times than I could count. (Imagine those planes that fly with a banner through the sky. Well, imagine one of those going past on the regular that says, “you’re a failure and nothing you ever do will make you successful.”)

On the bad days, I’ve laid on the floor. Cried. Called my friends. Lost my temper. Zoned out for unknown amounts of time. There have been a number of days where I’ve awoken with boulders in my belly and have started the worry spiral before even opening my eyes. I’ve learned that these bouts are temporary and what I’m building is made to last. I know I can weather those storms. And once I remember who the fu*k I am, I think of myself as the main character in a movie. That’s how all the best movies are; the main character has all these obstacles. Oftentimes the odds are stacked against them. But that’s just the start of the movie. There’s always a montage with great music of them conquering their circumstances and the movie ends with their triumph. 

Image credit: Annelise Page Photography

I just remind myself, when it feels hard, that I’m just in the montage part.

Then the worry cloud clears and I can remember all the good things this journey has brought me. 

I know that most businesses require debt to get started. I read once that restaurants don’t even break even until after year seven and most of them don’t last that long. So maybe I am not doing that bad after all.

I still own my home, I still have good credit, I still have a lot of freedom.

When I think about the debt, I ask myself if I regret starting my business. Is the emotional cost of having debt higher than all the benefits?

Four years of memories, impact, accomplishments, intimate conversations, and flexibility flash before my eyes,

and I would say, no.

And would I be ok forfeiting those memories and accomplishments if it meant staying stuck as someone’s front-desk girl but never having debt.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu*k no!

The benefits rank higher. 

Why? Because regret is a powerful teacher.

So many of us waste this precious life by playing it safe.

It’s hard to work in corporate America and it’s also hard to start your own business. It’s like the viral reel said “choose your hard.”

But how many of us have stopped to ask ourselves if we want anything more? If we’re doing this for the right reasons? If we’re playing to our strengths?

One “hard” comes with stability, working diligently in someone else’s empire and even after years of dedicated service, you could still get fired for no reason. Even if you do everything right, even if you pick stability, even if you got good grades in college and have amazing references, you can still get let go at any time.

The “hard” that comes with entrepreneurship is constant anxiety, burnout, debt, but what do I get for it? I can travel to Las Vegas and as long as I go to a few meetings, I can write off the trip. When my friend asked me if I want to go to Mexico, I don’t have to check my PTO, I can just shift my workload and make it happen. And at the end of the day, because I’m building a personal brand, my living, breathing portfolio in online for the world to see. I’m bringing more and more exposure to my body of work, my impact to the world.

And that momentum doesn’t stop unless I give up. Which has been tempting, let me assure you. But everytime I apply for another job, I think, “I don’t really want this job.”

Being an entrepreneur is like personal development on crack.

Every area of your business goes right back to your beliefs and your self concept. 

The way you view yourself, how you value yourself and your time, directly impacts your pricing strategy.

How you conduct yourself in meetings is directly related to self-worth.

Your fear of conflict will come up in sales calls.

Your insecurities and fear of criticism will come up in all your marketing.

You have the responsibility to your clients, to your business, your Bookkeeper, your family to balance it AND you absolutely have to do the mindset work so that you don’t self sabotage every aspect of what you’ve painstakingly built.

Entrepreneurship is so intense.

At the end of the day, I’m so glad that I’m here. And to be honest, I can’t imagine myself going back. I know my business will morph and change over the years. It’s already changed so much in four years, from being a social media manager, to being more of a brand strategist.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that it’s only up from here.

And that’s not just an illusion, that’s based on data. My annual revenue has gone up every year. I’m already out earning what I was earning at my office job. I’m making major strides each month on my debt pay-off journey. I’m creating opportunities for me and my daughter. I’m showing her that you can bet on yourself.

Life has risks no matter what you do. 

I know that I am much more open to risk than most people. Maybe that’s because I’m a trauma survivor, because I’ve had multiple near deaths experiences. I know what it feels like to be hollow inside, or to feel like it’s all over. My life might be intense and unpredictable, but I feel embodied, I feel like I’m working towards my purpose, I feel free, I feel like I’m making an impact beyond myself and my immediate family. I sure as hell am having a lot of fun and learning a ton and making a lot of new friends.

I’d like to remind everyone out there that we have a tendency to be really hard on ourselves and to compare ourselves to others. Almost everyone feels behind even if they make a ton of money and have a great family and are really in shape. There’s always that inner critic making us question everything.

This is your life and you get to make it whatever you want. And you’re never too late to make the change your soul is asking for. 

I know that when it’s my time for sure, that I will not have regrets. I won’t be eaten by the question, “what would have happened if I bet on myself?”

That’s priceless, and no one can ever take that away.